Have you ever held in your emotions, your feelings of being overwhelmed or sad?
I am sure we all have.
Life gets so busy that we sometimes forget to take time to “feel” it, so we stuff our emotions down deep and bottle them up inside. But just like a jar that is full of rising pastry, we cannot keep our emotions contained forever (nor should we).
Last Friday as I drove home from work, behind my dark sunglasses, behind the wheel of my car, I wailed and sobbed (mind you, this is not a recommendation for driving while experiencing a meltdown-just a fact from my Friday).
It was the sound of my brother’s voice when he called my cell phone, just cause he was thinking about me and wanted to see how I was, that the floodgates of emotion were unleashed, and all the things I had been stuffing down for a whole week, came tumbling out in a big old cry-fest.
It was an accumulation of feelings I had dealt with while wearing a brave face, but feeling sad inside. Getting home from work later than I wanted to after a 90 minute commute (each way)…to little girls who needed their mommy sooner than I could arrive (mommy-guilt at its best)…to missing conversations with my husband that extended beyond planning afterschool lessons and what’s for dinner…to dealing with new medication for my daughter’s health condition that added an extra hour of treatment to her day and having to share the news with her (a very busy and independent 12-year-old who doesn’t want to take the time out of her schedule to have to sit and inhale antibiotics for half an hour at a time)…to feeling like there just isn’t enough time in the day or enough of me to go around (don’t I sound just so upbeat right about now?).
But that’s the truth. That’s what had led to my meltdown and all it took to trigger it, was the sound of my brother’s voice asking me how I was.
Perhaps it’s because I hadn’t given myself permission to ask how I was. (Mixed in with a bit of fatigue). Despite how it reads (I just reread what I rambled off above) it really wasn’t that bad, but it had been sitting in that jar, rising up inside, like that pastry.
Last week when I told my daughter she had to go back on medication for a month, she did what children do, she FELT her emotions. She cried and screamed in frustration and sadness. I held her and comforted her and repeatedly told her, “It’s OKAY to cry. Let it out.” And at midnight, after about 75 minutes of doing just that…crying…she contained herself, without any prodding from me. She fell into my arms and started to talk to me about dance and all the things she loves. She was composed and happy and dreaming, once again, of the long list of things she plans to accomplish. She had purged her emotions, come to terms with what she had to do, and she was moving on.
My “cry ride” home was my purging. And funny enough, just like Madison, after crying for about an hour while my brother just repeated, “Let it out sweetheart, let it all out,” I felt so much better. I felt renewed. And just crying it out seemed to put it all in perspective, it really wasn’t so bad after all. I have the best husband and children, a wonderful life, a fabulous job, so much love and I am on an amazing journey of realizing so many dreams coming true.
Life really is good.
And crying really is soulful. It’s therapeutic. It’s the body’s way of offering you a much-needed release and preventing dis-ease from setting in. So let yourself cry. Allow yourself to FEEL your emotions…they are normal and one of the gifts of being human. I don’t advise getting stuck in negative emotions for too long, but give yourself permission to FEEL your sadness or frustration, it can help you to move through them to a better place.
Don’t be a bottled up rising pastry.
Remember it’s okay to cry…it only means you’re human.
Thank you for being a part of this journey. Never stop believing one person can make a difference… that one person is YOU!
With love and gratitude,
Founder, I Believe She’s Amazing