I just consoled my daughter through a tearful moment.
Nothing was wrong, she just needed to purge emotions and feelings.
I rubbed her back and told her, “It’s okay, let it out.”
I am not a big crier, but I can remember a few times that I just needed to let the tears flow, to release built up emotion. It is part of the human condition to feel different emotions. The more we try to silence ourselves, or silence our loved ones from crying, the more built up the emotions become until they are like massive waves that overtake us.
I vividly remember one of the biggest tear-fests I had. I was going through marriage counselling, my children were all under 6, I had lost my mother, my father and had attempted to deal with a mountain of adversity personally, in my marriage, and with respect to my daughter’s health. I put on a brave face and decided to take on the world with courage and strength, taking very little time to mourn or reflect on the emotions of those challenges.
During one of our sessions the counsellor looked at me directly and asked me if I had ever truly mourned the loss of everything…if I had ever really cried it out. I had certainly shed some tears but I would quickly go into bravery mode to get through whatever I was feeling faster. She suggested I go home, when I am alone, to have a good cry. Wail if I felt it. But to really think about what I was sad about and just cry it out. Not to stay stuck in it forever, but to just let it all out.
The next morning while the kids were all at school, I decided I would force myself to cry to purge my feelings. I started out with my lip quivering slightly and ended up in a full-on WAILING session!!! I cried to my mother above me. I questioned the universe and God! I cried so hard that my head felt like it would explode. And through my tears, I declared over and over, “I am NOT perfect! I am human.”
And then I stopped. I collected myself, put on a pair of sunglasses and drove to pick the kids up from school. But I had changed. I had released so much built up emotion, tension and feelings of needing to be BRAVE and PERFECT!!! I felt FREE! Liberated! Exalted!
Ironically, I know that in that moment those tears allowed me to turn a corner to become stronger and bravery through the understanding and recognition of my own vulnerability and humanity.
So today, I am grateful for the tears my daughter shed and the purging feeling they provided her. It lasted about 30 minutes, as opposed to 30 years. By consoling her and allowing her to FEEL what she felt in the moment, and release it through her tears, I have given her the gift of being human…not perfect!
When did you shed tears last?
Never stop believing one person can make a difference…that one person is YOU!
Decide that you are going to live your most amazing life by design.
With love and gratitude,
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